But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
