my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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