Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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