hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
