Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
