Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
