Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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