the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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