Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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