if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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