Me. At least after what I've been through.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
