i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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