I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
