i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
