And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
