my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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