She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
