There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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