Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
