I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
