I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
