It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
