I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
