Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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