he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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