hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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