Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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