does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
