I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
