HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
