going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
