Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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