he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
