I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize