I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
