my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
