Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
