I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize