What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
