Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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