i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize