Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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