I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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