That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
