I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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