If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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