im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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