how can u be prego again
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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