Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
is it fun? or sober?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
