I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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