This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my shit smells like andre
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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