thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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