You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
