hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
