You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
