I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize