There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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