he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
well you can't waste a boner
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
