Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
