Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
