Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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