I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
