I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
