dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
