did you get engaged???
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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