people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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