not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
