Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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