I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
